Beyond the Bullet by Heidi Yewman
Like the book Transcending ,this book was a compilation of stories of people that were affected by gun violence in some way. Each person shared deeply personal and moving stories of how they were traumatized by not only their tragedy, but how they are still affected to this day.
The story of Michelle Jeffries really haunted me. Her son William was murdered at a party, and she shared how because of the pain she felt, she became a very angry and bitter person. She blamed everyone for her son's death; she ran her husband off and drove her children away. In essence, she went to a dark place because her son was murdered.
It makes me think of Julie Nguyen, the mother of Minh Nguyen, the man I murdered. How have my actions put her in a dark place? How does she see the world now? How much does she blame herself? How much does she blame the world? How much does she blame God? I realize I have permanently altered this mother's view of the world by violently stealing her son from her. It makes me feel ashamed and disgusted with myself.
With the growing realization of how much pain I still cause her to this day, I can only continue to pray daily for her. I hope in some small way she can find healing and peace in her life despite the evil that I brought into her world.
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